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An Old Preacher Never Dies ...

5/23/2019

1 Comment

 
Those who know me well know I like a good joke. Every now and then when I have a moment to spare, I text my friend Hazel and have an odd but entertaining conversation. It usually starts by one of us making a pun and the other responding with another pun and so on until one of us gives up. We've lasted over an hour before now and our most recent conversation was highly amusing. I thought I would share with you a few snippets of our conversation.

It began when Hazel shared a joke she had read in a magazine: "Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance." To which I replied, "
Old cleaners never die, they just need a polish."

Here are the rest; some you may have heard and some are our original creations. Enjoy!

Old actors never die, they just drop apart.


Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions

Old professors never die, they just lose their faculties

Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.

Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience

Old snooker players never die, they're just having a break

Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.

Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.

Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.

Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.

Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.

Old cashiers never die, they just check out.

Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.

Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.

Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.

Old farmers never die, they just go to seed. 

Old mechanics never die, they just retire.

Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.

Old horticulturists never die, they just go to pot.

Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under.

Old milkmaids never die, they just lose their whey.

Old pacifists never die, they just go to peaces.

Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.

Old policemen never die, they just cop out.

Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles.

Old prophets never die, they just lose their vision.

Old sewage workers never die, they just waste away.

Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.

Old students never die, they just get degraded.

Old tanners never die, they just go into hiding.

Old teachers never die, they just lose their class.

Old upholsterers never die, they just recover

Old frogs never die, they go on until they croak

And finally,
Old preachers never die, they just ramble on, and on, and on, and on...
1 Comment
rush essay link
9/17/2019 05:51:36 am

An old preacher never truly dies, all of his words remain within us. Most people think that preachers are just horrible people trying to give out their opinions, but that is not true. A preacher is a person who has dedicated his life to spread the teachings of the Lord. I think that we do not appreciate them enough for what they do for us. I really hope that we all learn how to treat them with kindness and admiration.

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    Author

    Rev'd Martin Wheadon
    I have been ordained as a minister since 2001, working on my own and within a team. I am currently the minister at Gants Hill URC as well as one of the ministers at Wanstead URC. I also have 34 years of banking behind me, during which I enjoyed developing teams and working to deadlines. Pastoral care, preaching, being alongside people and journeying with members of congregations on their spiritual journeys are my delights. 

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