GANTS HILL URC
  • Home
  • About
  • Minister's Blog
  • Find Us
  • Prayer
  • Photos

Bullying: It's not what you say, it's how it is received

9/23/2019

0 Comments

 
I attended an Anti-Bullying Symposium on 17th September at Church House, Bayswater. I went fully armed with the URC Harassment and Bullying Policy and Procedure downloaded from the website, which should be read in conjunction with the Church's Equalities, Disciplinary and Grievance Policies and Procedures. The policy is principally for those working with Church House, either employed or volunteers but it was this body of work that formed the basis of the session. ​

At the end of the symposium, it was decided a policy document will be researched and offered to Synod as a framework to tackle bullying as a problem. 

Section four of Harassment and Bullying Policy and Procedure, headed Responsibilities of Employees and Managers, reminds us that all employees are responsible for their behaviour and that all managers are responsible for implementing the policy. Any complaints brought to the attention of a manager must be dealt with promptly, confidentially, fairly and consistently. 

Under Harassment, many examples in the policy are cited, including spreading malicious rumours, professional or social exclusion, insulting behaviour, unwelcome sexual advances or physical contact, physical assault, offensive emails, texts or visual images, and inciting others to commit any of the above. 1.4 of the policy states this, "Whether the bullying or harassment is intentional or not is irrelevant; the key is that the person being harassed sees the comments or actions as offensive, demeaning, disrespectful or unacceptable."

Taking this policy into church life, there seems to be a need to correlate between manager and minister, with employees being members of the congregation or adherents, but this will be worked out later in the year. I am writing this so that we are aware it is being considered. 
It was an educational afternoon where we looked at the concept of bullying, the purpose of harassment, played a bullying scenario game, and discussed what we should do next. 

Bullying is an abuse of power found in all walks of life from school to work where there is generally a "pecking order". The bullying ripples out, not only affecting the people involved but the families and work colleagues too. Bullying seems to create something beyond itself. It has to be seen within the context of cultural norms. Some behaviours are deemed acceptable, for example, in cricket, "sledging" where the opposition do their best to intimidate the batsman. 

Bullying provokes the question who decides who is doing the bullying? Should one have zero tolerance or is a level of acceptance needed? 

How do we respond to bullying, whether it happens to us or if we witness it occurring? Do we have the power to stop the bullying? Perhaps having a church policy is helpful so that if something occurs, we have a checklist to use to define whether it classes as bullying. 

We have to treat one another with respect, honour and love. It is okay to have different views but we have to be careful that being forceful in our conversations and overzealous in our encouragement, may come across as bullying.

The scenarios we looked at prompted good conversation. From the scenario, we had to decide whether the situation was never acceptable, sometimes acceptable or always acceptable. We found it was very easy to come up with explanations to excuse the bully's behaviour. It depended on: knowledge of the back story, the context of the scenario, how it was said, the tone of voice, the relationship between the parties, and the culture. 

The uncomfortable question, "Do we deal with bullying by not dealing with it?" seemed to be a recurring theme. 

In short, if you feel you are being bullied, you are bullied. I look forward to a policy being produced within the next year. In the meantime ... what can we do? 
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    ©Copyright
    We are happy for you to use any material found here, however, please acknowledge the source: www.gantshillurc.co.uk

    Author

    Rev'd Martin Wheadon
    I have been ordained as a minister since 2001, working on my own and within a team. I am currently the minister at Gants Hill URC as well as one of the ministers at Wanstead URC. I also have 34 years of banking behind me, during which I enjoyed developing teams and working to deadlines. Pastoral care, preaching, being alongside people and journeying with members of congregations on their spiritual journeys are my delights. 

    Archives

    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019

    Categories

    All
    Book Reviews
    Christian Women
    Colours In The Bible
    Hymns
    Minister's Letter
    Mountains In The Bible
    Numbers In The Bible
    Prayers
    Preachers
    Sermons
    The Bible
    Towns And Cities
    Twelve Disciples

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • About
  • Minister's Blog
  • Find Us
  • Prayer
  • Photos